Fear To Let Go

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  • The Bondage
  • The Fight
  • The Freedom

We all go through this process at different times in our lives. One day we wake up to realize that we carry chains. What do we do? It is so easy to despair, to feel sorry for ourselves. But I have recently learned that there is something that we can do to change our circumstances. It is the power of the will. For some it is easier than others. And the truth is it takes practice. All it takes to make the chains shatter is to do.

I was having many problems with my horse throughout my pregnancy. (I usually ride up into my fifth month). I knew I was scared of being bucked off, especially since my horse sometimes gives me a little attitude. Well, every time I rode, I was frustrated; I was tense. A horse can sense a human’s emotions.

I gave birth in December and decided to get back on my horse last month.  I was slightly afraid once again, but I was determined to push back my fears. I got on her; and we walked to the point of the field farthest away from the barn. Another horse had followed us. This other horse decided to run back toward the direction of the barn.

Here we go, I thought. Now I’m going to have to try and stop her from bolting in that direction, as well.

I succeeded in doing so for a minute, but then I decided to just let go of my fear and fly with my mare. What paradise it was to have the wind flipping my hair past my face, to really feel as if I were flying. I was free.

I know that this experience was small and seemingly insignificant; but to me it made all the difference. I was becoming someone who I did not like. I was serious to a fault, always concerned about “stuff”, busy with all that I was trying to be. In all the chaos, I had forgotten how to really live, how to really treasure each moment that was given to me.

Life is a gift! Don’t waste it. Don’t be afraid to let go of the fears that hold you down, the  person you are trying to be only for the sake of others. Be the person that God would have you to be, a grateful, awe-inspired human being.

My bondage was the inability to let go; my fight was fought in a moment; my freedom was priceless, won by the determination of my will.

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